| Step 1:
START EARLY! As soon as your multiples start their last
year of pre-school, you need to know what you want for their elementary
experience. The advantage is on YOUR side if you start early, you
have the opportunity to make your case and fight their decisions if you
need to.
Step 2:
Know what is right for your multiples.
Before you ever meet with the school, you need to know deep in your
heart what you feel is right for your multiples / twins. If you
aren't sure, talk to their preschool teachers, their church school
teachers, and any other educational professional who knows them.
Then talk to your parents and any one else who has grown children - the
more kids the better. Never underestimate the value of their
experience even if they don't have Ph.D.'s!! You can check out the
links on my "Twin Links" page for some websites I've found that were
very informative - just to save you from having to dig through all the
garbage the search engines come up with.
Step 3:
Talk to the school casually.
Once you
know what is right for your multiples, go to their elementary school and
talk to the principle/administration. Find out what their policies
are on multiples being in the same classroom. You may have no
problems.
Step 4:
GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING
Principles are busy and don't always remember
the conversations. You can request a formal meeting about the
classroom placement of your multiples. If they seem opposed at all
to the idea of twins together, request the formal meeting.
Step 5:
Put together your case.
I used many of the following items to put
together my case for keeping my twins together in Kindergarten.
Information available on:
www.twinsandmultiples.org/
look under "the
school years" They have a huge amount of information to help
you decide. Also, there is a link to the form for the teachers to
fill out. (You can also find the form on the "Downloads" page.)
Bring handouts from NOMOTC, TwinsAndMultiples.org, etc. Give
the booklet from NOMOTC to the administration a month or so before hand
to allow them to read it. Step 6: Speak to the educators
using their own professional organizations recommendations.
Do your best to remove all emotion from the conversation.
Create as sterile a conversation as you can, make it very logical and
very obvious that the only rational conclusion of the meeting be that
your children are placed together. I know this is sexist, but bring in
a male representative for the children if you can. (This was
recommended to me by a few friends who are teachers. I went alone,
but I've also been in the military and I'm a very forceful woman - which
isn't always good but worked out in this situation.)
If you don't get what you want from there, you can fight it
if you need to. Just decide if it will be worth it in the end.
Sometimes it will, sometimes it won't. Remember that the teachers your
children get will be strongly influenced by the principle and
administrators. You may fight to have your twins together and get
the worst teacher they have to offer. The principle and
administrators will also be gossiping in the meetings, etc. about
what a horrible/crazy/annoying/pushy parent you are to have to deal
with. As much as I have officially be told that doesn't happen, my
teacher friends have assured me there is tons of gossip flying around
the school among the teachers/staff. You don't want you children
to be treated badly because of some close-minded, archaic administrator
who has their undies in a wad because they didn't get their way.
Another suggestion to all parents
no matter how old your children are - join their prospective elem
school's PTA NOW! Even if you have 2 year olds. Schools need
volunteers to keep things going, get in there and see what you can do.
Get to know the other parents and the staff. The more the
administrators know you - meaning know you as a school helper over time
- the more they are going to be willing to work with you. |